Blind Luck 3: The Ever Winding Road
by Onkoona
Summary: Sai's continuing journey though life. This is the last in the BL trilogy. Please read the others first or this makes no sense.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to the last part in the Blind Luck series!  
The story is finished and will be uploaded as the chapters come out of the beta-ing process. Thus posting may be irregular.  
Much thanks to my beta Reenan Lefey!

_Hikaru no Go and it's characters belong to their makers, I'm just borrowing them for a while._

For those that wondered here by mistake, go read the other parts first or this makes no sense.  
Part 1: 'The Way Out' ( storyid: 5886368)  
Part 2: 'No way Back' (storyid: 6972045)  
The story continues straight on from part 2.

And now: enjoy the ride!

**Blind Luck**

**Part 3: 'The Ever Winding Road'**

Chapter 1

Much had happened in the few months since a homeless amnesiac blind man had followed a vaguely familiar sound off the street and found himself transported into a newer, safer world, where he found acceptance and friendship and fulfillment. In that time not all of Sai's dreams had come true yet, but that was not so strange. Life continues on, and when earlier wishes are fulfilled, new ones take their place swiftly enough. Of course, Sai wasn't the sort of person to start wishing new wishes until he had thoroughly enjoyed the coming to fruition of the old ones. He had a roof over his head, a job that he could actually do, and he had friends, nice friends. All with their own quirks, to be sure, but that made them unique after all.

About six weeks after it had been put on his wrist at the hospital, the cast was deemed ready to come off. Sai had celebrated in private, first by spending a good 10 minutes in the bathroom scratching his re-exposed skin until it finally stopped itching, and then heaving a contented sigh as he cooled his now hot skin down under a cold running tap. Ogata had surprised him with a plate of curry hamburger for dinner, now that he would be able to eat with both hands again. Sai ate it with relish, after having had so many teaser tastes of the dish from the many servings of left over sauce on crackers; it was wonderful to be able to eat the real thing. As it turned out, the blind man decided he really liked the sauce better than the actual burger. So when he was offered the dish again later that week, he begged off, but requested Ogata order extra sauce with his own burger so Sai could have that with his rice and vegetables. Ogata's willingness to indulge his friend in this, no doubt, strange request, gave Sai a contented feeling.

When he had first come to stay at Ogata's, he had eaten everything the man had offered him, but after about a month of a steady diet of three square meals a day, Sai had started to turn down offers of third helpings; he had realized that horrible empty feeling in his stomach had finally gone away. He was, however, not ready to turn down any offers of seconds just yet; his fears of empty bellies in future could not be assuaged quite so easily. He fervently hoped that this fear would go away too in time, for he had such a great life already, even if there were some imperfections here and there.

One of these imperfections was Ogata. After their tiff in front of the shelter - an event that Sai still blamed himself for more than the Go pro - Ogata had promised he'd do better, and for the most part he did. Sai fully realized that having everything his own way was how the Ogata had lived all his life, and that considering another's feelings had not been much of an issue before Sai had come into it. He knew Ogata tried not to bully him, but once in a while the man just pushed him too hard. Whenever that happened, the blind man found himself in the unenviable potion of having to chastise his benefactor, knowing that he could lose all by doing so.

Yes, Ogata was his benefactor; he provided Sai with a home and he provided Sai with a job, which in turn provided Sai with more money than he ever had had in his life, or at least in the life he remembered.

So far, Ogata had taken seriously any rebuke Sai had given him whenever Ogata's behavior warranted it in the blind man's opinion. Ogata always promised to do better, and he always failed.

The biggest failure was the bi-monthly bout of drunkenness Ogata indulged in. That very first time Sai experienced it, Ogata had arrived home utterly sloshed and had forced Sai into a 'nice 'n' friendly game of Go.'

Sai had been frightened, having caught on to the Go pro's inebriated state too late - he had chided himself for not smelling the booze on the man sooner. Sai had been around plenty drunk men outside the shelter doors and really should have known better, but he hadn't been able to get away as the man had kept blocking his exit. So the former ghost had been forced to play the most ghastly game ever, feeling abjectly miserable throughout.

When, the next morning he had been unusually quiet in their morning routine, Ogata had asked him why, and Sai, wanting honesty between them, had told Ogata of his feelings. Ogata's reaction had been familiar; it was the same as with their first fight: an admission of guilt, and a promise to do better which the blind man had accepted.

But a few weeks later Ogata came home drunk again, reducing his promise to ashes. This time though, Sai was much faster in reading the situation and got out of the apartment before the titleholder could stop him. He spent a cold few hours on the windowsill of the topmost hallway of Ogata's apartment building, trying to stop himself from crying by mentally replaying two of his latest games with Touya Meijin at the same time. That may have been really good practice, but it couldn't totally take away the jitters of that night.

After the third time they went through the cycle of Ogata's drunken arrival, Sai's subsequent flight, and Ogata's profuse apologies and promises of betterment the next day, Sai had to face the fact that this behavior was a permanent thing with the titleholder, as was the 'kind' bullying, and the former ghost realized he had to either except the man as he was or leave his house. Since leaving was not a real option - if nothing else the blind man was in too deep a debt with the title holder - Sai stayed and made sure he was gone from the apartment on the few evenings a month that Ogata had his 'party'.

And this was why the blind man sat in the dark on a cold windowsill late one Sunday night in November. Sai had been lucky that he'd had a book in his bag that day and that he'd managed to snatch the bag before getting out. Or maybe it wasn't luck, but merely a premonition firmly based on past events that had made him keep his bag filled and close by for the last two evenings.

Anyway, he had his book and an apple to tide him over until he could head downstairs at no earlier than 4 am, and find his bed.

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The book fascinated him; it was about the history of Japan, and even if it mentioned the Heian period - his own period - only briefly, it was a very interesting read.

It was the book on Braille he had bought that had set him on the path towards many more books; it had introduced him to the Library for the Blind* which lent out books in Braille by mail, for free. All you needed was a postal address and you could borrow new books every week!

Before signing up for a library card, Sai had asked Ogata's permission to use his address as a mail drop. And the man had allowed it right away, saying he was happy to give his friend a chance to read.

Sai had been delighted when the first book arrived. It was a small catalog of the Library's most popular fictional titles accompanied by a section on non-fiction books that included the history book that he was reading now. There also had been a plastic disc in a paper sleeve, that Hikaru informed him was a CD. Sai had heard of CDs but had never held one, and he certainly did not have a player to play it on. That was what he had told Hikaru, who immediately dragged him to the mall to get one.

Playing the disc had been an eye-opener for him; it was full of news, spoken aloud, and especially geared to blind people's interests. One of the items mentioned was that Tokyo Historic Museum** was holding an exhibition on the entire history of Japan for the next 3 months. It was intended for grade school age children really, but it also turned out to be sympathetic to the blind as you were allowed to touch (replica) items of each period.

Sai so wanted to go, and whined - he still blushed at the thought of how he had whined! - at Hikaru to take him there next Wednesday, as he knew the boy had that day off as well. In the end Hikaru had given in, saying that only for his friend would he go to such a 'stupid kiddy exhibit'.

Sai was grateful, very grateful, that his friend would come to his aid. Hikaru really was his only link to the past and he hoped he'd be able to remember more with the added stimulus of the objects there.

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Sitting on the cold concrete windowsill, Sai was just finishing yet another chapter on civil war - Japan had had an abundance of those, it seemed - when a noise startled him: the click of high heels on the tiled landing.

'Who's there?' a female voice chimed from the direction the foot falls had indicated, a strong note of suspicion marring its tone.

Sai got up quickly, clutching the opened Braille book to him to prevent it from falling. He bowed and said, 'Fujiwara Sai, from downstairs, sorry to startle you, Miss.'

'Asano Miiki. What are you doing here so late and in the dark?!' the lady said, her tone now showing fear and anger too.

The blind man was startled again; he had not known it was dark up here. How could he have? And now, knowing it was dark here, he realized the picture he was making, that of a strange man lying in wait at a woman's door, ready to do whatever it was that nasty men did to nice women at 3 am in the dark.

'Oh!' he exclaimed, 'I meant no harm! I didn't know it was dark here; I'm blind, you see, and ... and I was reading my book...' he trailed off, knowing how lame he sounded.

'Blind?' she said the disbelief palpable in her voice. 'Step forward, where I can see you,' she commanded.

The lady's tone was very firm now, and Sai knew what was coming next; he had been in this situation before. This was where he got chucked out. Resigned to that fact he grabbed his bag from behind him, knowing he wouldn't be able to come back for it later. He put the strap over his head and hoisted the weighty book so it was wedged beneath one arm, while with the other he found the wall, needing it to guide him since his cane was still in his bag. He didn't dare cause more delay by getting it out.

He was inching forward along the wall, when Miss Asano snapped, 'Well hurry up, get into the light!'

'I'm sorry, Miss, I can't see the light,' he said, speeding up his gait, but not wanting to come too close to the lady. She might carry something she could hit him with; she sounded angry enough.

'Stop there!' she said, and Sai stopped in mid stride holding himself absolutely still.

'Look up.'

He hadn't realized he had let his head fall forward, but at her brusque command he lifted his head instantly. In front of him was the telltale displacement of air of a hand waving in front of his face.

'You live in this building?' she questioned him.

'Yes, Miss, number 304,' he answered promptly. 

'You were reading you say; show me your book.' The tone left no room for argument, but still Sai hesitated; the book was not his but belonged to the library and if she took it away from him, he'd be in trouble with them for sure. Then he reminded himself he had a job now, and he could pay whatever fine the library would impose on him if he lost their property. He handed over the book.

Sai pushed himself even closer to the wall as he heard the swooshing of the pages being leafed through.

'Well, that certainly looks authentic enough,' the lady said, adding, 'You best go on home, it's late.'

'Yes, Miss. Thank you,' he added, taking the book back as she thrust it into his hand.

With a 'Good night, Miss,' he followed the wall towards the stairwell and exhaled when he heard her door open and close.

He went through the door to the stairwell before stopping to get his cane out. After checking the time - 3:35 am - he decided to chance going back to Ogata's apartment, hoping the man would be passed out on the couch by now.

As he made his way down the steps, he reflected on what had happened. He realized full well he couldn't sit on that particular windowsill for some time to come, and never again at night. There were quite a few more window seats in the hallways throughout the building; he'd have to find himself one elsewhere.

But moving to another seat would not prevent this from happening again; people would always be scared when surprised by ugly people like himself in the dark at night. If only he had known he had been sitting in a dark corner! The whole thing might not have happened if not for that. The blind man did understand about fear in the dark; he experienced it himself all day, every day, after all. He needed to find another, well lit, place to sit for next time, and that was a fact.

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He let himself into his friend's apartment as silently as possible some 5 minutes later, where he was greeted by loud snores coming from the living room couch. He sighed once in relief and proceeded to make himself ready for bed, taking care to give the couch a wide berth.

Another 10 minutes saw Sai in bed, letting the easing of the stress of the night's excursion lull him into a deep slumber.

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That Monday, like every Monday, was a working day, the last of his working week before he'd have Tuesday and Wednesday off.

On Mondays Touya-Meijin always booked all of Sai's time until two o'clock, as he did on Thursdays, that being the first day of Sai's working week. On Thursdays they'd play a very serious game that usually ran the full reserved period, with only a small tea break. But on Mondays they took it easy because Sai would be mentally tired from a full week of playing Go all day long.

Of course this particular Monday he was also physically tired from having lost half a night's sleep, and so he did his best to hide the yawns he just couldn't stop from coming. The Master Go player either hadn't noticed his fatigue or was too polite to mention it. The latter more like, considering Hikaru blurted out, 'Sai, you look like hell! Didn't you get any sleep last night?' the moment he spotted the blind man when Hikaru had come in the club at two.

The former ghost evaded the young pro's question, and effectively distracted him with the game Sai had played against the Meijin last Thursday that sat on one of the two the Gobans on the table. The other Goban held that NetGo game from years ago and all three Go players continued the game discussion, which the two older players had been having before Hikaru had arrived.

It was around the afternoon tea break that Ogata came into the club, his appearance heralded by a cloud of cigarette smoke.

It came across to Sai as rather rude when the titleholder only bothered to wait with his interruption long enough for a short silence to fall in the conversation, while the three players thought about an alternative to a decisive move that hadn't panned out for Sai in the newer game.

'Fujiwara, can I have word with you?' the gravelly voice sounded, sending a small smoke cloud into the blind man's face.

Sai sighed; he knew what this was about and he really felt too tired to listen to more apologies. Also he really was enjoying the game discussion, making it tempting to turn the man down, very tempting.

'Fujiwara-san, you go ahead. I'm sure Shindou-kun, Akira and myself can look at another game for a bit until you come back. You won't miss anything important,' the Meijin said.

Sai got up automatically, but as he stood he thought, /You're wrong, all Go is important, and I'll be missing it!/ shocking himself with his own anger.

He sat back down.

He knew anger was the worst thing to bring to a heart to heart; the chance of saying things you don't mean is just too great. And Sai was plenty angry right then, angry at Ogata for again putting him on the spot, angry at himself for letting Ogata put him there, and most of all angry that he had no choice but to take the titleholder's generosity, which he inevitably had to pay for by putting up with the man's controlling and selfish behavior. A righteous anger suddenly flared up at his own unkind thoughts towards the Go pro and he chided himself yet again for thinking such things.

Sai realized he needed to calm down before talking to anyone about anything, and to that end he said, 'I'm sorry, Ogata-san, I'm in the middle of a discussion right now, and I promised to play Hikaru next. So it will have to wait until later.'

What he said hadn't been rude really, but neither had it been very polite. It was all true however, and it was the best he felt he could do at the moment.

'Fujiwara,' Ogata started to say, but was interrupted by the arrival of Ichikawa with more tea and sweets.

The commotion of setting down the tray and handing out tea cups and cookies seemed to effectively stop Ogata from speaking further. And by the time Ichikawa left, the man had apparently done some thinking of his own. He said, 'Alright, later is fine,' and left it at that.

Sai let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and then turned back to the game discussion, uncomfortably ignoring the thick smoke producing presence of the Go pro for the rest of the afternoon.

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By the time dinner was over, Sai was absolutely exhausted; the sleepless night and the tension of the day had really done a number on him. And worse of all, he hadn't even had that talk with Ogata yet!

'Fujiwara, you look all done in. I think it's time to quit for today,' Touya Meijin said in a kindly tone, placing the refilled goke back on the Goban with a click.

He was right of course, but Sai didn't particularly want to go 'home' right now, as it would mean alone time with Ogata, and maybe he'd not even have a home to go to once they'd fought again.

/No. There mustn't be a fight,/ the blind man thought. He'd had enough of fighting and of the fear of losing all. But he did realize he'd not be able to put a confrontation off indefinitely.

'Alright,' he sighed, retrieving his cane-bundle from the table and slipping his bag's strap over his head before getting up. The air displacement and increase in cigarette smoke next to him alerted him to the sudden presence of the 10-dan at his elbow.

'Fujiwara, we still need to talk,' Ogata said, blowing a cloud of thick smoke in Sai's face.

The blind man turned to his oldest friend and the two members of the Touya family and bowed saying, 'Thank you for the games today and I'll see you on Thursday. And you on Wednesday, of course, Hikaru,' he added, not wanting his friend to think he had forgotten their trip.

The three all bade him a good night, but none of them said anything to the titleholder standing next him. Sai waited until the sounds of their footfalls had faded before turning back to Ogata. Before the other man could start speaking the blind man said, 'Let's not do this again,' exhaling in a loud sigh.

'Do what? Look, I'm s-,' Ogata started, but Sai interrupted him immediately, 'You're sorry, and you won't do it again, I know.' He flipped open his cane and turned in the direction of the exit, adding, 'We both know that you will, so let's leave it at that and go home; it's been a long day.' He started walking, keenly aware that Ogata hadn't moved at all.

This was a pivotal moment, Sai realized; the other man's reaction would make or break their relationship. The blind man knew he had reached the pinnacle of rudeness by just waltzing over Ogata's big moment of semi-sincere contrition. And he so hated being rude! But in dealing with the Go pro, he had learned that if he wanted Ogata to take notice, being rude was apparently inevitable.

It was when the former ghost heard Ogata's footfalls moving fast to catch up, that he let out the breath he'd been holding. And when Ogata overtook him to hold open the door for him, he knew it was going to be alright; Sai would have a home to go to tonight at least.

As he tapped his cane out in front of him, walking to the elevator that gave exit to the basement, he reflected that he felt like a ball that a willful boy - Ogata - kept bouncing against a wall for fun. What may be fun for the boy was not so much fun for the ball, for he felt bruised and tired.

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TBC

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* While I didn't make up Library for the Blind, I don't actually know that Tokyo has one or, if it does, that it works the way I described it. I based my description on my local version.

** Though Tokyo undoubtedly has museums, I made this Tokyo Historic Museum up. Again I based the description on a local version.

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Don't forget to review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

That Tuesday Sai stayed in. He usually slept in on Tuesdays until mid-morning. Then he'd either go meet Hikaru somewhere - if the boy was free - or he'd explore the neighborhood around Ogata's apartment building by himself. But today he had slept until 11:30, and then had found the rain pelting the window so hard he could almost feel the cold water through the double glazing as he laid a hand on the damp window pane.

He had taken up his book again and read about at least 7 bloody battles before Ogata rang his mobile at 5 to ask if he wanted a ride to the club for dinner and Go. Sai countered with a suggestion of curry hamburger at 'home' with a game for desert, because he really didn't fancy getting wet - the rain had not let up for a single moment all day - and because he knew the neither the Touyas nor Hikaru were going to be at the club today, so it really wasn't worth the trip. Mrs. Touya had commanded the male members of the family's presence at dinner that evening, and Hikaru had mumbled something about bowling with 'the guys'. Sai knew, of course, that 'the guys' were the young pros friends from when Hikaru had been an insei. Sai had met Isumi (a solid player, maybe too solid; mustn't forget playing Go is fun too) and Waya (a maniac on the board, but sloppy and thus very beatable), not too long ago. But Sai wasn't too interested in joining them in 'bowling' after Hikaru had explained the game to him.

The 10-dan pro and the former Heian noble shared a curry burger - extra sauce - and a strong game of Go after Ogata had warmed himself up with a hot shower; he had gotten home soaked, making Sai feel justified in indulging in his boring domesticity of that day. Sai did hope the next day's weather would be a lot better, because one day indoors in per week was quite enough for him, and there was the outing to consider. Yes, tomorrow Hikaru would take him to the museum, and hopefully, the former Heian noble would find more of his past there!

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Wednesday saw Sai and Hikaru alighting Kawai's cab at the taxi stand in front of the Tokyo Historic Museum.

Sai had never been to this part of Tokyo before and immediately he could hear the difference in street sounds. The closest he could describe was that the space sounded like a much bigger version of the square in front of the Mall on Ogata's street. Here too was the sound of water falling, but almost like there were ten fountains instead of just one. The echoes of the street sounds were different as well. Maybe the buildings were taller here, or just bigger. There was no way for him to know, really, and Sai settled for enjoying the sounds without knowing how they came to be.

Hikaru had been his usual high spirited self that morning. As Sai had noticed in dealing with his young friend - when not actually playing or watching Go - the kid just couldn't sit still; fact that Sai found a very amusing contrast. But since listening to street life was not anywhere as interesting as Go - at least to Hikaru - the boy pulled on Sai's arm, effectively breaking the blind man's contemplative mood. Sai let himself be dragged up a seemingly never ending stone staircase until they reached a plateau, which Hikaru then steered them across. Then there were a few more stone steps, and a sudden change of ambiance heralded their entry in a big enclosed space.

Hikaru left him standing, saying something about 'getting tickets and a map,' and cautioned him to stay put. Sai had no intention of straying; he was too busy listening to the noises of human life reflecting off the walls and the awfully high sounding ceiling. The echoes were stupendous!

The sudden appearance of a voice next to him startled him momentarily.

'Can I help you, sir?' A man's voice.

Sai froze, thoughts running through his head at 10.000 miles a minute. Was he in trouble? Was he in the way? Would he be moved on now? And if so, would he be allowed to walk out under his own steam or be bodily removed? If he was removed, would Hikaru be able to find him or would he be lost in a part of Tokyo that was unknown to him? What was he going to do when night came, he didn't want to be out all alone at night!

Then he stopped himself. /Hikaru. Remember you're here with Hikaru and so you're not alone./ The thought of his friend calmed him enough to rethink the situation and modify his own reaction to it. The man's voice had not sounded harsh or unfriendly, so Sai admonished himself for reacting to it as if it had. No, the man had sounded friendly enough, and the offer of help seemed kindly meant too. He exhaled and formulated an appropriate response to the man's query.

'My friend is getting tickets and a map,' he added that detail hoping that the addition would make Sai's presence there sound more convincing. This guy could be a security guard, with the task of keeping the riff raff out. And as a former inmate of the Men's Homeless Shelter of Harbor street, he knew very well what it is like to be considered 'riff raff'.

'He should be back soon,' Sai continued nervously. Hikaru was really taking his time, worrying the blind man somewhat, even if he was sure Hikaru would not abandon him here.

'In that case,' the man spoke politely, 'I will leave you to it. Should you need any help at all, just raise your hand and I, or one of my colleagues, will help you. We are at your service,' he added and the air displacement in front of the former Heian noble indicated the man's polite bow. Sai gave a short bow and thanked the man.

Just at that moment Hikaru reappeared, relieving Sai's overactive anxiety. The boy gently put his hand on his elbow and steered him out the noisy hall. Sai was quite glad of his young friend's help, as the echoes of that huge room were so overwhelming he wouldn't have been able to follow the boy's footsteps by sound alone.

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They left the hall and entered a corridor to come to a stairwell. They had gone up one flight of stairs then through another corridor, up three steps, a right turn, down 6 steps, through a heavy door, turned left, down another corridor, turned right, another three steps up, and through another heavy door, when Hikaru stopped them and started fiddling with a big piece of paper.

'Uh, Hikaru, are you sure you know where we're going?' Sai asked, trying not to sound too critical. He actually wasn't worried about getting back to the big hall; these narrow passages and bits of stairs were very easy for him to remember. But the trip so far seemed oddly complicated to him, with its twisting and turning. Of course Sai had - as far as he remembered - never been to a museum before, so he had no real clue what the layout of one might be.

'I'm taking a short cut,' the boy mumbled distractedly, 'we should be close now.'

Sai decided to leave this part to Hikaru; he was old enough not to get lost in here anyway. As he waited, he stepped a little closer to the wall he had felt was there with his cane. The sounds during their convoluted trip had been oddly muffled, and now that there was a moment, he decided he wanted to verify a theory he had on that. He touched the wall with his finger tips and was not at all surprised that they encountered soft cloth instead of hard wall paper or paint. There was actually some give in the material as well, indicating there was a space behind the fabric. Well that accounted for the muffled sounds and the slightly cramped feeling too.

Sai had just noted it down as an interesting choice of wall covering, when Hikaru resolutely said, 'Right. We've missed a turning; we need to go back.' With that, the boy wrapped his hand around Sai's elbow and he was once more being directed where to go.

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It was with some relief that Sai found himself in a new space, after having maneuvered through yet another heavy door. This space was roomier than the corridors had been, but had a similar hushed quality, so he assumed the wall here were covered in fabric too. He was about to tap his way over to wall to find out when Hikaru spoke.

'Ah, this is it. Oh, I think we've missed a room or so, 'cause this is the Nara period already. Uh, I think the start of the exhibit is this way,' the boy said and Sai felt him tug on his sleeve, indicating direction.

But Sai didn't move and instead asked almost breathlessly, 'Isn't the Heian just after the Nara period? Can we go there now?'

The former Heian noble of course had known the sequence of Japanese historical time periods, but reading about them in a book was likely to be quite different from experiencing them in a museum. He suddenly found himself very anxious to go straight to his own period now that he was finally so close.

'Yes, it is,' the boy confirmed. 'Yes, we can, if you wanna. Uh...' Air was displaced when the young pro swung around the blind man, as if looking 'round for information.

'Ah, over there,' Hikaru stated and again Sai received a tug on his sleeve. He followed the boy's muffled footfalls and felt the air current shift when he passed under an arch into a new room.

'Oh, look at this,' came from his left. Sai changed direction and moved towards Hikaru new location.

'It's "the silk day attire of a mid-level ranked courtier", it says here,' the young pro continued more softly when Sai had reached him. It was odd; the fabric muffled sound effect of the place made even a boisterous kid like his friend keep his voice down almost naturally.

'It looks just like what you used ta wear. T' same colors too. Look at that pattern, like that, yeah,' Hikaru mused. Sai stretched out his fingers unconsciously, wanting to touch the fabric, feel its rich reality, only to come upon a cold pane of glass blocking his way.

He did not have time to think about his disappointment, because just then there was a sudden swelling of human noise behind him as many feet entered the room and a female voice rang out loudly, seemingly unimpressed with the compulsion to stay quiet that the room's decor had hoped to produce.

'This is the Heian period. It lasted from the year 794 to the year 1185. In this classical period the imperial court experienced its heyday of art, most notably poetry and literature. The /Tale of Genij/ was written in this period. Daisuke, thumb out of your mouth, now!' The sudden change in the lady's voice startled Sai, but since the rebuke obviously had not been meant for him he relaxed immediately.

Undisturbed the lady continued her monotonous monologue with, 'the nobles at court also spent their time playing music and games and of course, practicing politics. The actual running of the country was left to the lower officials and the warrior class, who kept the peasants in line, while the nobility had their life of leisure.'

The former Heian noble frowned at this information; had his class and therefore he himself been a wastrel in his first life? The Braille book had indeed mentioned that life at court was good, but it had also said that the Heian period had been one of the most prosperous of Japan's history. But the chapter on the Heian period had been disappointingly short. Did this lady know more than the book?

The lady continued talking and walking, taking the many tiny footsteps with her.

'The period ended in 1185 - Raiden, leave that alone! - with a bloody civil war that pretty much wiped out the entire corrupt noble class, and from then on the warrior class ruled.' Suddenly the footsteps seized. 'Who can tell me who was part of the warrior class?' She paused a moment and silence reined.

'Tadashi?' she asked.

'The samurai, Miss Hama,' a very young voice replied.

'Yes, that is correct. Riku stop pulling Haruka's hair. And as you all know my ancestors were samurai too.' There were many murmurs of assent, all very young voices. The procession started moving again, Miss Hama's speech fading as she and her school class moved into the next room.

'Now the Kamakura period is much more interesting; it's the time of the samurai. See those swords? Those are /katana/ and were used to...'

Sai stood with his hand still on the glass and feeling deeply disappointed in himself and his class. Had his contemporaries really left all the work to others while they had lived a life of luxury? Had he? The Braille history book had said that everybody had prospered, but had made no mention of the division of labor of that period (nor had it in any of the other periods, to be fair), so what the teacher had said could well be true.

'Hikaru, is what she said true?' he asked his friend softly.

'Uh? Who said what?' A clear note of confusion in the kid's tone.

'About the Heian nobles not working but only playing games?' /Of Go/ he almost added.

'Uh, yeah, I think so. That's pretty much what I remember from history class. We skipped most of the early periods and did loads on the Meiji Restoration. Very boring.'

Sai hadn't reached the chapter on the Meiji Restoration yet. So he couldn't agree or disagree with his young friend's assessment of the period and gave no comment. He realized he needed more information on his own period as well as the others. Until he had read more he would reserve judgment of his own class. It could well all be true, and he knew that he would be bitterly disappointed if it was, but as long as he didn't know, there was hope.

'Oh look here,' the boy pulled his sleeve again and he let himself be lead along the glass wall, his hand slipping gently over the glass.

'It's a map of Japan. I think it was actually drawn in the period. Oh, look, they've got the shape of Hokkaidō wrong!'

Sai of course couldn't see and wasn't very interested right now anyway. But as the young pro had halted his advance along the wall to look at the map, Sai had had to halt as well or run into to his friend's back, and while coming to a standstill his hand had dropped down from the glass to the fabric covered wall underneath where his ultrasensitive fingers had grazed a plastic tag mounted on the wall. It had bumps on it, that Sai's fingers read instantly as '-missioned'.

Sai perked up immediately; the joyful novelty of being able to read had not worn off, nor did he think it ever would. He let his fingers find the beginning of the tag and then read out, 'Map of Japan, inscribed as having been commissioned by Emperor Shirakawa in the third year of his reign, 1075.'

'Gee, is that what that says?' The boy move next to him and his hand brushed Sai's as Hikaru touched the tag. He had shown his friend his Braille books before so the concept was not new to the boy.

'Pretty neat; I can't see there is anything there at all in this light, but you can read it just fine, I guess!' Hikaru sounded pretty surprised at that. 'Maybe I should learn me some of that too!' he added, laughing.

They moved on the next window, where Sai found a tag that said: 'Later illustration of /the Tale of Genji/, depicting female quarters in the imperial palace during the Heian period.'

'Urg, the perspective is all funny,' was Hikaru's only comment.

Being male, Sai rather doubted he'd ever been in the female quarters. The history book mentioned that men and women lived separately most of their lives, unless they were married, and mostly not even then. Sai wondered briefly if he had been married, way back then, but then dismissed the thought; if he had been then he hadn't told Hikaru about it when he'd been a ghost, because if he had the young pro would have told him by now.

He really hoped he hadn't been married, because the idea of leaving a wife - or even worse a wife and child - behind when he had committed suicide struck him as utterly wrong, and he just couldn't see his former self - however much of an over privileged wastrel he might have been - feel any different on this subject than he did right now. He exhaled. Of course, he would never know for sure, unless he started remembering his first life properly. He reminded himself that that was exactly why he was here today; only so far, disappointingly, no memories had been triggered. Not too surprising, he realized, since he hadn't actually been able to handle any Heian item yet!

He found Hikaru's arm and urged, 'Hikaru, there are supposed to be objects that can be touched here, can you find them for me?'

'Sure, uh, lemme look, it's actually quite dark in here...'

The boy started moving away from the wall with the map and art work, and Sai held on to his arm and followed closely until Hikaru halted again.

'Here it is, on this table.'

Sai moved next to his friend and indeed found the edge of a table. His hand slid across the surface, finding a big plaque fastened to it. Hoping to find more Braille he moved his fingers across it, but they came away disappointed; the plaque was perfectly smooth. Then his hand was grabbed and moved a full hand-width to his right where the fingers encountered another plaque, this time with Braille relief.

'This is the one you want,' Hikaru said, letting go of his hand.

"Objects can be handled freely," it said. Sai reached out further across the table, hoping to encounter a familiar object that might make him remember and give him a glimpse of the past. The table seemed to run out a lot sooner than he had expected and Sai found his hand suddenly plunged into a depth. As he pulled his hand back hastily, the back brushed some object that then shifted and started to fall. The blind man grabbed the object quickly - a bowl of some kind - and brought it towards himself. He sat it down on top of the Braille plaque and started feeling it.

It was round, cold to the touch (ceramic for sure) with relief on the sides (a flower, he thought, a chrysanthemum maybe) and ridges that could indicate a circular decoration all around the rim. It felt like an ordinary food bowl, one he'd had thousands of meals out of. But hold on, the bowls at the hospital and the shelter had been plastic or metal, not ceramic. It was only recently that he had been eating from ceramic plates and bowls, and those had felt nothing like this one! No, he was holding a bowl like the ones from his first life in his hands; he was sure of it. /Oh!/ A harrowing thought just occurred to him; he wasn't holding an actual 1000 year old bowl was he? He unconsciously gripped it tighter when he asked Hikaru the same thing.

'Uh, I doubt it,' the boy replied and then paused. 'Oh, here it says: "All items in the handling bin are made by Yunomi Enterprises, in their reproduction department. Yunomi Enterprises is proud to make available these items that are meticulously produced using the authentic materials of the period, wherever possible." I guess not then, but that's not bad either,' Hikaru added.

Sai was still uncertainly fingering the bowl, unwilling to let it go for fear of damaging it, when he asked his friend to describe what was in the 'bin'.

'Uh, some more bowls, and chopsticks. Paper scroll, brushes, comb, fan, musical instrument, some pieces of cloth from kimono, I think. Uh... Nothing about Go though! That sucks!'

Sai was starting to feel his friend's impatience. If there wasn't anything Go related on the table, there would be nothing to hold the young man's attention. But Sai was unwilling to let himself be hurried and he wasn't about to leave without touching all these items, hoping for a single spark.

'Hikaru, can you put this bowl back for me and,' he had think for a moment what to try first. Maybe the most tactile, he decided, 'hand me the kimono cloth, if you please.'

'Sure,' came the boy's reply. Sai was happy to note that the tone of annoyance had disappeared; maybe Hikaru wasn't really pissed off after all.

The bowl was lifted from his fingers and a swatch of soft cloth was placed in his open hands a moment later. Sai ran his hand over it in slow sweeps; it was the softest and smoothest material he'd ever felt. There was a sense of sweeping his hands across yards of material, hands and arms entering luscious sleeves when dressing, smoothing out folds and tucking material under belts of contrastingly colored silks, and long sleeves sweeping outwards like the wings of a white crane, before settling on the ground out of the way of the Goban. Sai's hand stilled as, before his eyes, he saw the Goban filling up with moves and counter moves. The hands playing were not his, but that of a boy, and his vantage point wasn't quite right either, as though he was not sitting properly in from of the Goban but more off to the side. He looked over to his left and next to him sat Hikaru, tailor fashion, still a young boy wearing a bright yellow T-shirt. Sai looked over to the boy's opponent, but the other side of the board was shrouded in complete darkness and he was unable to make out the other player's face. Unconsciously he raised his hand to his mouth in consternation, but was immediately distracted by the white silk sleeve that covered all of his hand. It was very high quality material, soft and smooth to the touch, as soft and smooth as the swatch he was rubbing between his fingers right now, here in a museum in Tokyo. With that awareness, the vision faded and Sai's world was black once more.

He swallowed at the loss of light and wished the vision back again, but his world stayed stubbornly dark. Had this been a memory? Or merely a sensory fragment? If a memory, it was an odd one, to be sure. But odd or not, true memory or not, Sai was very glad to have experienced it.

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Over the next half hour the blind man handled each item as his young friend passes them to him, one after the other. First was a brush and some paper, both of which Sai recognized as familiar, but neither drew a spark. Then came some chopsticks, a comb and a fan. The fan, with its bamboo ribs and paper 'wings', was just as familiar as Hikaru's own tasseled version had been when he had handled it, but it too neither sparked a memory nor enabled a vision.

Then another bamboo item was laid in his hands. It was long, adorned with ridges at intervals, with seven holes placed evenly along one side and with a single oval hole placed at some distance from the others. Sai recognized it at once as a /fue/, a flute. Of their own volition his fingers sought out the round holes, covering them with the pads of the each finger's first joint and the oval was placed to his lips, bringing the flute out to his right. He breathed out strongly, and a single wailing tone was produced. Without his mind commanding them, his fingers shifted, finding a new formation of covered and uncovered holes. He breathed again, only now realizing that it wasn't a breath at all, but more a powerful pushing out of air from his mouth. Another, lighter tone came forth. Again a slight shift in positioning his fingers, blowing out more air, and the tone changed to a lower one again. Lift some fingers, lower others, blow and another long tone came forth, bringing with it a mist of deep red. Dark at first but becoming more vibrant by the lengthening of the tone. A new tone brought a veil of orange, and another a partial disc of yellow. Sai noticed that his black world, wherever it wasn't now red and orange and yellow, was turning blue above him and green below. The yellow disc grew stronger and rounder as it slowly rose in the distance, the reds and oranges turned into fluffy pink clouds, all commanded by the flute's changing tones. Sai could see and feel the wind play gently with the green grass at his feet. The sun was now so bright he couldn't look straight at it and he slowly turned around. He cast his eyes upon the purple mountain range up ahead, recognizing mount Daimonji in its early dawn state, its snow tops colored pink by the weak sun.

A wind blew and made the sleeves of his Heian noble's outfit flap around him wildly. But it was not strong enough to make him stop his song. New tones flowed and with them the fields around him were lit by the early morning sunshine. An elongated high tone seemed to produce a flock of birds that flew overhead, while the lower tones seemed to point out nearby trees that were crooked from being whipped by the same winds, year in and year out. Middle tones gave life to the far mountains and a nearby stream, and the tall summer yellowed grass that was being whipped around his knees in the strong breeze. Then the wind suddenly died down and Sai saw a beautiful sunny day. The sun shone warm on his silk clad back and the mountains glistened in the distance. As he looked up he saw that the sky was a vibrant blue that stretched out into infinity, like the single note he was playing stretched out into first one tone than another, and another, and...

As he lowered the flute from his lips the vision was lost and his world turned dark once more. He carefully placed the flute to the table and used his sleeve to wipe away the tears that ran down his cheeks. It had been the most magnificent thing he had ever seen. He was grateful for the vision, truly grateful, but why did it have to end?

'Excuse me sir?' A male voice came across the table. Sai felt drained and bruised, and the last thing he wanted to do was to talk to a stranger.

'If I may say, that was most beautiful, you play well, sir,' the man persisted.

'Thank you,' he replied dully before turning to Hikaru and whispered, /'I'd like to go now, please.'/

/'Alright,'/ Hikaru said and Sai felt his left arm taken up and he had just time to unwrap and extend his cane before the young man had started moving them out.

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An interminable journey of corridors and turns and steps up and steps down brought them to the outside air. But when Hikaru started to drag him down the huge stone steps outside, Sai resisted his pull and sat down heavily putting his head in his hands. His hands became wet instantly with the tears he just couldn't stop. His shoulders shook with irrepressible sobs.

'Look, uhm,' the boy stammered. 'D'ya want something to drink or somethin'?' Hikaru tried after a half minute. 'Yeah, that's a good idea,' he answered his own question. The boy's hand padded his shoulder once and then moved off.

'Stay here, I see a soda stand, I'll be right back.' The boy's voice grew softer with distance and anything more Hikaru might have said was swept away by the wind.

Sai wiped his sleeve across his face, trying to get most of the moisture off. That vision had been so beautiful, the colors so vibrant and the sensations so real. There was no way he would believe that that place hadn't been real to him at some point in his life. He could remember the fluttering white sleeves he had worn and the purple trousers that the grass had grazed in its wild dance in the wind. Hikaru had described how he had looked as a ghost, the clothing, the hair, the fan and of course that hat. The description had not included a flute, but then maybe he hadn't had one as a ghost. But at least it made it very likely that the vision had been of some place his former self had visited. Sai experienced a wave of homesickness towards that untouched place. He so wanted to go there or, barring that, he would settle for just seeing and experiencing it again.

He suddenly wondered if going back in to the museum and handling the flute again would call back the vision. The thought was interrupted by Hikaru's arrival with a can of soda for Sai, and one for himself.

While he sat and sipped the drink - with odd bubbles in it that tickled his throat - he decided against going back. He realized that if he were to try the flute again and the vision would not reappear, he'd be heartbroken. Even if the vision did come again, it would inevitably come to an end again and his heart would still be broken. No, it was wiser to not try and just cherish the experience he'd already had. At least it was for now.

With that, he finished his sickly sweet drink, gave his face a last thorough wipe, and asked his young friend where he wanted to go next. The day was young after all.

囲碁*囲碁*囲碁

TBC

囲碁*囲碁*囲碁

Don't forget to review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Fujiwara Sai, the newest employee of the Touya Go Club, succeeded almost completely in putting the incident at the museum behind him. Having a full time job playing Go, a library full of new books to read, and his hanging out with his new friends, left no time for thinking about would-have-beens.

He was happy, truly happy, even if his world was only ever lit by the light of a shining Goban, and the only colors he ever saw where that of black and white and wood.

The only times the world was really dark was when he wasn't playing Go or wasn't reading; not that reading created light, it just made the darkness less dark. The interaction with his friends did much the same thing. But when he was alone, on his off days or late at night, his world was very dark indeed. It was at those times that the blind man let himself remember the flashes of memory from Hikaru's stories and the vision called forth by the flute. They were bitter sweet moments and Sai strictly rationed reliving them, for he could feel the depression each caused by creating a longing for things he just could not have.

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It was the Tuesday after the museum visit that Sai was reminded of the incident in a very unexpected way. The first thing he did every Tuesday was listen to that week's CD from the Library. As always it had come in Monday's mail and Ogata had put it in his cubby hole by the door.

He'd play the disc while having a lazy breakfast. It ran an average of 45 minutes and had all kinds of interesting bits on it. First there was the news, then tidbits of general information like the review of the Tokyo Historic Museum exhibition, and lastly there would be advertisements of all kinds. All this, but especially the advertisements, was completely new to Sai, and most of it was incomprehensible to him. But in the few weeks he had been listening to the CDs he did feel he started to understand more about the world he lived in.

That Tuesday Sai was startled by an advertisement almost at the end of the run.

"Desperately seeking: blind flute player seen in Tokyo Historic Museum in Heian Room, November 6th, around noon. If you know this person, please contact Library Gazette Ads under number 5554."

Last Wednesday had been November 6th and it had been past noon when Sai and Hikaru had made it out of the museum. There had been no-one else playing earlier, but it was possible someone had a little later. /Possible yes, but highly unlikely./ No, Sai was pretty sure they were looking for him. The question was 'why'?

With a shock he realized why. He could have sworn he had put that flute down gently, but maybe it hadn't been gently enough and he'd broken it without knowing. Maybe he should not have been playing it in the first place. Maybe there had been a plaque saying precisely that and Hikaru had missed it; the boy had said it had been dark there.

He gulped. If he had broken the flute, he would have to pay for it. At least he now he had a salary, but who knows how much a flute like that would cost? There was really no other way but to contact the Gazette and find out. Phoning the Library was not difficult since he had plenty of practice ordering new books almost every week.

'Library for the Blind, moshi moshi,' came the same friendly lady's voice that he always got when phoning them. He asked her how he could respond to the ad, to which she explained that the Library could pass on to the ad placer either his phone number or his address on record for further contact. After he asked what she thought they might want from him, she said she had no information on that; all she knew was that they were not members of the Library, that the ad had come from outside.

Sai gave her permission to pass on his address, figuring it would be better if any demands for compensation for the damaged flute came by mail instead of over the phone. That way he could ask advice from Ogata or Miss Ichikawa. Because apart from Mr. Uwayaku, they were the only people he knew that might be able to help him with this kind of thing.

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As he was about to leave Ogata's building to continue his explorations of the neighborhood the next morning, the doorman stopped him.

'Fujiwara-sensei,' the man had started calling him that after Sai had accepted his apology so many weeks before. 'A messenger dropped this off for you early this morning.'

Sai turned around in surprise and felt a folded piece of paper being put in his left hand. He grasped it, feeling it with his thumb and fingers. It was an envelope.

'Thank you,' he said automatically. Then he added, holding the envelope out towards the man, 'would you mind reading it to me?'

Asking this was a gamble, he knew. He was pretty sure that this letter was about the broken flute - he expected no other letters - so letting a stranger read it would be embarrassing to say the least. However, he really wanted this problem sorted out as it had given him a sleepless night already. And maybe the doorman would stop being so overly polite once he realized that Sai was only human after all. So he handed over the letter and was content to let the chips come down where they would.

After listening to the telltale sound of paper being torn, Sai was surprised by the doorman's next comment.

'Uh, sorry sir, I can't read this.' An unfolded paper was placed in the blind man's hand and the doorman's claimed inability became understandable; the letter was in Braille.

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There was a tiny park with a bench just behind Ogata's building and Sai headed straight there still clutching the letter.

After sitting down, folding his cane, and putting his bag beside him, he put the letter on his knee and let his fingers find the beginning of the missive.

'Most honorable Fujiwara-san,' it started, making the hope that he wasn't in trouble after all bloom in his heart. Of course, Sai had never received a personal letter before, so he was not at all sure that all letters didn't start in this way.

'We've taken the liberty of having this letter translated into Braille, so as to enable you to access it more easily, or in case there is no one available to read it to you.' Well, that was clear, they meant this letter to be read by him, presented in such a way that he would not have to go through a third party to read it. The way they had made sure Sai could read the missive without having to go through any third party to gain access to it's contents, was both impressive and convoluted.

Sai could only think of two reasons for such a precaution; either they were being excessively polite or the subject matter of the letter was extremely serious. Sai vehemently hoped the former, because he was pretty sure if they had gone through all this trouble for a broken flute, a custodian's salary might not be nearly be enough to compensate for its loss.

He read on.

'An acquaintance of ours heard you play the /ryuteki/ in the museum on Wednesday last. He had made a recording and replayed it to us.'

Sai was startled yet again. He had been recorded?

Hikaru had explained about recordings laughingly some weeks ago when Sai had referred to the people speaking on the Library Gazette CD as 'tiny flat ghosts that always say the same thing in the same way, but never listen when you tell them to stop!' This was after he had been forced to listen to the same track 20 odd times when a button got stuck on the CD player. It was then also that he learned the uses of the other buttons besides the 'start' and 'eject' button.

'We would be most honored if you could see your way to visiting our company's facilities,' the letter continued.

'Please let us know when you would be available.

Yours sincerely,

Yashida Hachiro, executive

and

Fukurou Takeshi, executive

for

Yamatogoto Inc.

Ongaku lane 5674

Tokyo

Japan

tel:...'

Sai folded the letter after memorizing the address and telephone number out of habit.

They wanted him to come to their company? Why? The letter had been super polite but hardly informative. Sai's heart sank. What if it was to get him there to have him arrested for causing damage?

He took out his phone and carefully dialed the number.

'Yamatogoto Incorporated, how may I help you?' a cheerful young man's voice chimed.

'Uh, Fujiwara Sai calling. I've been asked to contact a Yashida-san or a Fukurou-san,' he stammered.

'Why certainly! Putting you right through!' And a tinny tune started playing in the blind man's ear.

But before Sai had a moment to think about the significance of the music - if any - the tune stopped and a deep male voice said, 'Yashida speaking. Ah, Fujiwara-san, I'm most gratified you called so promptly. When can we expect you?'

Again Sai had to swallow. Might as well get it over with, he thought.

'Right now is alright, sir?' He made it a question.

'That would be most opportune! You are already in the neighborhood?' Mr. Yashida asked.

'Uh, no, uh, I doubt it,' the former ghost said and gave the other man the number of Ogata's building.

'Ah yes, I know that place. It's quite far from here. Shall we say in one hour then?' Mr. Yashida asked.

Sai realized he'd have to get a cab and an hour's cab-drive would not be cheap. But he was fully conscious of the fact that if he didn't deal with this right now, the next step could be the police knocking at Ogata's door, and that would never do!

'Yes, sir, that would be no problem,' he said with a heavy heart and finished the call.

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Sai had called Kawai's dispatcher and got a ride in Mr. Nezumi's cab, since Kawai had the day off. Mr. Nezumi was a big guy, even bigger than Kuma. He always helped Sai into the cab and he always mentioned if there were steps or obstructions in the blind man's path whenever Sai alighted. He did that even on very familiar terrain like the Go club or Ogata's building. On the whole it did make Sai feel more secure, even if it was redundant sometimes.

When the cabby dropped him off at the Yamatogoto building he warned Sai of a revolving door with three steps leading up to it, before driving off.

Sai stood on the side walk for a few moments longer collecting his courage. He was a full ten minutes early; Nezumi could possibly outdrive Ogata where speed was concerned. While that always got Sai to his destination early, it did leave his heart firmly lodged in his throat every time, and he really needed the time gained to stop shaking.

When he felt as ready as it was possible to be with the threat of the coming confrontation looming over him, Sai flipped open his cane and advanced on the steps leading to that infernal rotating door.

'Sir?' The voice came from ahead left. /Male, young/.

'Yes?' Sai asked politely.

'If you'll come to me, sir, this side entrance is easier to navigate.' The young man's voice had moved closer, and presently Sai felt a guiding hand on his left arm. He let himself be guided into the building by the young man's hand, through a normal door, figuring that that was the fastest way to get inside.

Once inside the large sounding space - an entrance hall with stone floors and matching hollow echoes - the young man bade him wait and Sai could hear him make a phone call informing Mr. Yashida and Mr. Fukurou of his arrival.

'Yashida-san will see you now. I will take you up,' the young man said and Sai felt the hand reappear on his arm. Again he let himself be guided, through a door, up two flights of stairs, down a corridor, right turn, another corridor, and then through heavy doors that the young man needed both hands for to pull open.

'Please enter,' the young man said and Sai could feel the slight displacement of air indicating the man had bowed.

Sai stepped forward and felt as well as heard the door fall shut behind him.

'Ah, Fujiwara-san, I'm so glad you could come,' spoke the same deep voice Sai had heard over the phone. 'Yashida Hachiro, pleased to meet you.' The air was disturbed again.

Sai bowed back, quite low, saying 'Fujiwara Sai, pleased to meet you.'

'Fukurou Takeshi, pleased to meet you,' came from the right, causing another slight air flow. Sai turned to his right and repeated his introduction and bowed again deeply.

Both gentleman's greetings had been in the most polite forms of speech. In the life that Sai could remember he had never been spoken to in such a manner nor had he had much opportunity to use really polite Japanese. The few times he had felt it necessary to use it he had been ridiculed. Hikaru had told him that as a ghost his speech had been old fashioned, almost haughty. The boy also had said that 'folks don't speak like that anymore'. Well, apparently these 'folks' did. The blind man noticed that even if he didn't remember having used these speech patterns, they came back to him very easily indeed.

'We are indeed gratified that you had time for us today,' Mr. Fukurou said.

Sai returned with, 'I must apologize profusely for any damage I may have caused.' With that he bowed deeply again and left his head down while he waited for the gentlemen's verdict.

'Damage? I am unsure... Yashida-kun?' The older sounding of the two said, his voice laced with genuine mystification.

'I know of no damage, Fukurou-san. Of what do you speak, Fujiwara-san?' Yashida asked.

Sai came up out of his bow hesitantly. Had he got it wrong? It wouldn't be the first time now would it, but still he needed this cleared up one way or another.

'Uh, the flute back at the museum...?' he stammered. He added, 'I may not have put it down carefully enough?' when the other two remained silent.

'I know not of any damage caused by you. Ikegaki-san, who has the honor of being a museum guard at the illustrious Tokyo Historic Museum, has not spoken to me of any damage that day, thus I know there was none. It was he who made the recording of you that prompted us to invite your worthy self here,' Mr. Yashida said.

Sai was shocked. He was not in trouble after all? As the realization washed over him like a hot shower, he felt intense relief.

'Fujiwara-san are you unwell?' Mr. Yashida asked.

'Uh, quite well,' Sai hastened to reassure him. 'May I ask why you requested my presence, if not for that?' he added.

'Why, to ask you to play of course!' Mr. Fukurou's voice went up in what sounded anticipation.

'Play?' Sai could kick himself for his dumb utterance; he sounded like an ignorant clod.

It did not seem to faze Mr. Fukurou who continued to speak, 'Will you do us the honor, the privilege of playing a piece for us? The recording Ikegaki-kun made was somewhat lacking in quality, for he used his mobile telephone to make it, and such a small thing only has a meager ability.'

Sai recognized that older man was actually babbling. Was the man nervous? Sai knew he himself babbled when he was nervous, but would such a distinguished old man?

And being asked to play? Sai could hardly believe it! It would be wonderful though! /Oh, but hold on,/ he had no flute. He couldn't play without one.

'Maybe it is I who has the meager ability,' Sai said. 'I would not mind playing, but I have no flute,' he added with a sigh.

'You did not bring your flute?' Mr. Fukurou sounded incredulous, but before Sai could protest the accuracy of the assumed facts in the posed question, the older man continued, 'Joshu-kun, kindly get the /ryuteki/ off the display please.'

'But, sir!' said a young man's voice that sounded shocked. It came from a little further away and to the left, indicating to Sai that the owner had been standing off to the side, as if in attendance.

'Please bring it here.' Mr. Fukurou's voice still had the same polite tone, but somehow the request had a lot of authority behind it.

'Yes, sir,' Mr. Joshu responded promptly.

As Sai could hear Mr. Joshu move about, Mr. Fukurou continued talking. 'It's a gift the company received when His Imperial Highness the Crown Prince visited our facilities many years ago. Ah, here it is,' he said as the young man had rejoined them.

There was the sound of a box lid coming off a box and after a pause Sai felt a slender bamboo length touch his hand. He pulled his hand away, for fear of damaging the flute.

'Fujiwara-san, would you play?' Mr. Fukurou urged.

'Fukurou-sama, I could not possibly do justice to such an instrument!' the former Heian noble exclaimed.

'Fujiwara-san, any musical instrument, no matter its origins, is meant to be played, or its purpose is lost.' The bamboo touched Sai's hand again, as the old man continued speaking, 'Please play for us, so we may hear this dragon flute* sing once more.'

Well, putting it like that Sai could hardly refuse, even though he still felt grossly inadequate to play such an illustrious flute.

A tiny bud of hope bloomed within him. Maybe by playing this flute he'd visit the glade again. /Oh yes, that would be marvelous!/

'I will be my pleasure then,' he said. 'If I may hand it back for a moment?' he added, holding it out again. The slight weight was negated as it was taken from his hand. Sai used his momentary free hands to quickly fold his cane, slip the strap off his wrist and put the bundle in his bag, which in turn he proceeded to push from its normal position beside him to further behind his back, to improve his elbowroom. He had noticed that at the museum the bag had restricted his movements somewhat.

'Joshu-kun can take care of your bag, if it pleases you,' Mr. Yashida said.

A presence appeared at his side, Mr. Joshu Sai assumed, and he hesitated for only a split second. Giving the man his bag might be risky; he might not get it back. But the fact that he was in a company building, with an attendant at the door, an assistant here, and these well-spoken gentlemen, did tip the scales for the blind man. He lifted his bag, slid the strap over his head, and held it out for Mr. Joshu to take. The absence of the bag's weight on his shoulder and its mass by his side left him feeling oddly naked. He didn't get more than a moment to ponder it when the flute was laid in his hand again.

'Please, play,' Mr. Fukurou said, using the politest of verb forms.

As they had in the museum, the blind man's fingers found their proper place on the instrument immediately and Sai laid the flute against his lips once more.

He breathed in and gently blew across the oval hole. A single tone came forth, as clear as summer's sky. Sai let his fingers and mouth shift a fraction and the tone modulated to the more muted texture of autumn leaves. While pushing his breath out with a lot more force he shifted again turning the tone up into a swallow's flight straight towards heaven.

He breathed in again and started another tone, followed by another, playing a long drawn out lament. If you would have asked him how he knew what note to play next, he'd have told you he didn't know. But as he played the notes and modulations he knew he was playing them from some distant memory, from somewhere he had played them in the past.

As had happened in the museum, the notes created another vision, a 'mindscape' if you will. It was a different one than he had been to before. Each of his notes called forth colors, shapes, textures, and sensations, which culminated in a rocky mountainside with a small stream running down eroded rocks. There was vegetation and tiny wild flowers, trees and birds - swallows in large flocks, but no human life, save himself, again in his flowing white sleeves.

The music let Sai repose in that brightly lit place as long as it lasted. But like all things, it had to come to an end. And when it did the light went out as he lowered the flute from his mouth.

The separation didn't hurt any less than it had the first time, but this time he expected it and he managed to stop the tears from forming in his eyes. The place the music had taken him may have been different than the first time, but it had felt no less real. It did leave him wondering if either place had ever truly existed in his first life, or even in his ghostly life, or were they just the product of his over active imagination. What was starting to bother him was that both locations had been devoid of even a hint of human life, apart from himself, that is. If these mindscapes were not a reconstruction of a memory but more a creation of his own imagination then it was a depressing thing to realize that he seemed to be all alone in this world of his own making.

Sai was effectively called away from his maudlin thoughts by the emotion in Mr. Fukurou's voice.

'Oh, that was so beautiful! Well, Yashida-kun, I must say I feel justified in letting this young man play the prince's flute, for was that not even better than the /Etenraku/** from the recording? Ah, to hear such high quality playing, it is most exhilarating.'

Without taking a more than half a breath the old man continued speaking, 'My dear Fujiwara-san, the way you push the /seme/(high pitched note) out of the /hukura/(low pitched note), it is such a sensitive act. And that /syouka/(melody), most elegant!'

As the older man used each of the strange words, they instantly became clear to the former ghost, very much like the memories had come when Hikaru had talked about their time together. That he must have been able to play the flute in his first life had been clear to Sai since last week, but that he possibly had been good at it was new. And he apparently knew an unknown tune, maybe one that had been lost over the last 1000 years.

When Sai had discovered he had a good talent for playing Go - and after the time it took for him to actually believe it - he had felt that horrible uselessness that he had had to live with for as long as he could remember, slowly melt away from him. And now he had discovered another innate skill. Rediscovered it really, since he must have worked at learning the flute as much as he had worked at perfecting his Go, in his first life. Possibly more, for playing an instrument well takes a lot of time, this much he did know. He was suddenly very grateful to his former self for taking the trouble to learn these things, for now he had two skills not just one. Of course the quality of the instrument mattered a great deal in music making. Sai was sure that even a mediocre player could make this flute sound good. He told the older man as much.

'Oh no, I've heard good players play this precious flute before, but they couldn't make it sing like you just did. And that melody, I've never heard it before, but it is most ancient, I feel sure. Is it a family /syouka/?'

Tell the truth or lie, it always came to that. It would have to be the obfuscated lie the former ghost had been giving everybody else. Sai pulled himself together mentally and answered, 'I honestly don't know. I was in a car accident over a year ago and lost my memory. I only recently rediscovered my name, but I can't remember anything of my former life.'

A silence fell after he had finished talking. As always when he was reminded of his past he felt a strong echo of the emotions of back then. The total confusion, the constant loneliness, the occasional embarrassment, the fear, the pain - both mental and physical and the utter despair of his days in the shelter came back to him almost as powerfully as when he had first felt them. /No!/ He was not going to go through this again. He had a job now and a home and friends. He would never go back to the shelter ever again!

The anger and determination blew away the other more negative emotions, leaving rage running up and down his spine. To stop the feelings from over flowing Sai balled his fists tightly and felt his arms tense up with the pent up energy.

He forced himself to exhale, inhale slowly and exhale again. With the dawn out breaths the anger slowly left his body and after a minute or so his fists uncurled of their own account.

'Well,' Mr Fukurou said just as the silence became uncomfortable, 'Let us sit down and have tea.'

The mundane process of requesting his bag, getting out his cane, being directed to a seat, feeling it out so he could sit down, refolding the cane, putting it in his lap, and putting his bag by his leg on the floor, gave Sai a few needed moments to get his emotions back under control. By the time the tea had been served, tasted, and thoroughly verbally appreciated, he was able to give a well thought out response to Mr. Fukurou's inquiry of, 'I sense an interesting story in your past, Fujiwara-san, I would very much like to hear it, if you are of a mind to share it.'

The request was made in such a way that the former ghost could easily turn it down without loss of face to the older man. But he found he did not want to hold back; he found he wanted to tell his story somewhat freely to these gentlemen.

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Sai told the gentlemen his story as he knew it. Of course he left out all that he agreed with Hikaru to leave out. When he came to the end of the story Mr. Fukurou had some questions which, and Sai should not have been surprised about this, were all about his new experiences with playing the flute.

'So you had not know you could play the /ryuteki/ before you touched it in the museum?' Sai nodded as he took another sip of his second cup of tea. 'How remarkable!' Mr. Fukurou exclaimed.

'What about other instruments? Like the /biwa/, the /shō/ and the /koto/?' Mr. Yashida asked.

Sai finished chewing his sandwich and swallowed - as 'tea' had turned into 'lunch' a little while ago - before answering, 'I have not had cause to handle any of those instruments, but I do recognize the names, so I cannot be totally unfamiliar with them.'

'And do you know what other /syouka/ you might know?' Mr. Yashida said.

'I have no way to know that but to play them myself, if they will come out that is. Or, failing that, it is very likely I would recognize one if I heard it again,' Sai responded.

'Joshu-kun, please put on that CD that's on my desk. Yes, that one,' Mr Fukurou directed his assistant, and a moment later a single flute tone made Sai put down the last of his sandwich on his plate before moving the plate off his knee onto the coffee table in front of him. He sat up in his chair as the second tone wailed out around his head. The third tone was the clincher; this was the tune he had played last week.

He remembered the glade, the mountains, the grass and the sky as the tune progressed. But this time he did not enter the glade, it was only the reflection of a memory, and so it had not half the presence or impact it had had when he had played the notes himself.

There were also a few jarring instances when Sai's idea of what the next note should be did not match the sounds he was hearing. But on second thought he was not too surprised, after all, his version of the /syouka/ was a 1000 years old. It was actually remarkable that there were so few changes to the tune.

The song came to its end and so did Sai's memories. Then a new tone started, short and ending in a sharp /seme/. Another /hukura/ note started and it also went up in a /seme/.

'Joshu-kun, switch it off, please,' Mr. Yashida said, almost drowning out the next note.

'No! Please leave it on,' Sai pleaded, his mind totally on the notes as they happened.

'Leave it on,' Mr. Fukurou commanded, and Sai was able to listen to the entire song without any more interruption.

The song did call up images in Sai's mind of dark blue skies with candy pink clouds, of colorful fish swimming in fish tanks, of water fountains spewing water into man-made basins. But somehow the colors were too bright, the motions too wooden and the shapes too simple. The whole thing was very much like the images Mr. Risu had evoked in him when he had read that passage from Ogata's tropical fish book, back at the book store.

The vision disappeared as the song came to an end and he could hear an electronic click that he had learned heralded the end of the CD play back.

'That was interesting,' Sai said. 'I recognized the first song; it's the one I played at the museum, but not the second.'

'The first is called 'Etenraku', it is very old, from the early part of the Heian period. Yes, that's the one Ikegaki-kun recorded. The second is from the latter part of the period, thus it has more use of /hukura/ to /seme/ shift in it.' Mr. Fukurou explained.

Yes, it had had a lot more dual notes in it than 'Etenraku', Sai had realized that while listening. Possibly an excessive amount of dual notes. Definitely a few note-shifts he had not tried before. All of a sudden his fingers itched to try these for themselves.

'Fukurou-same, may I handle the /ryuteki/ once more?' the blind man asked.

'Most certainly,' the older gentleman said to Sai, before commanding his assistant to hand the blind man the instrument.

Sai shifted to sit on the tip of his chair and brought to the flute in position. He cleared his mind in much the same way as he did just before starting a game of Go and languidly blew the first /hukura/ of the second song. Just as the other flute player had done, he pushed the lower note one octave up into its corresponding /seme/. He closed it and then played the second /hukura/, pushing it too into its /seme/ state, when the timing of the song had called for it.

As he played the song the images he had seen before reappeared, and this time they were a lot more detailed, more real. But he found he did not have much time to appreciate the improvement as replaying the song from memory was taking most of his concentration. So he let the blue sky, fish and fountain drift by him, without giving them much attention. The last note to the song was a /seme/ to /hukura/ combination, something he was fairly sure he had not played much, if at all in his first life; it felt most unfamiliar.

His world turned dark once more and he rested his hands with the flute in his lap.

'But I thought you said you didn't know that piece?' Mr. Yashida's voice held much incredulity.

'I do now,' Sai said, knowing full well how pedantic he sounded. It was pride he knew, pride in his accomplishment. And he wasn't sorry he felt that pride right now.

'But...' the younger of the two gentlemen started.

'Yashida-kun.' There was warning in the older man's voice. 'Joshu-kun, please set up Kamome's CD. Third track, please.'

Sai found he was not too worried about Mr. Yashida's disbelief. He might have been before he had gotten his job at the Touya club, but not now. Now he didn't feel he had to justify his abilities, since they did not impact on his livelihood.

Mr. Fukurou's reaction was more interesting. If you kept the strategies of Go in the back of your mind here, it was clear what the man had in mind.

'You are testing me?' Sai asked.

'Yes, if you're amenable,' Mr. Fukurou answered.

'Yes, I think so.'

There was the telltale click of a button being pushed and the whirring of the CD and then the track started.

This song was different again from the other two. It had a lot less dual notes for one and it was almost entirely in /seme/, which struck the blind man as very unusual. The tune also sounded to him as being a children's song, a lullaby maybe. It wasn't really much of a test as it would not be hard at all to replay this tune, all the more easy because the last third of it was a repeat almost exactly of the beginning.

The image it produced in his mind wasn't very clear. Sai recognized a child playing with an open fan, but of neither the child nor the fan could he have given a description.

The moment the track came to its end, he put the flute to his lips and continued the melody without breaking the rhythm of the tune.

The image of the boy and fan became clearer. The simplicity of the song gave Sai time to enjoy the vision. It was indeed a boy playing with the fan. His chubby cheeks dimpled as he smiled and twirled the fan around his small fingers and then threw it up into the air, flapping his long sleeved arms in glee. The fan fell soundlessly onto the /tatami/ mat and the boy's braids by the side of his face bobbed about as he dove down to retrieve it.

As Sai played through the repeated part of the melody, he wondered briefly who the child was. Maybe it was himself when young, or the child of a friend, or a sibling or cousin? But the vision provided no more information than what he had gleaned when it started. His questions of where and when and who were met with the mute notes of the song only.

It was a nice thought that the boy might be a family member. Even though the child would have lived and died a thousand years ago. Sai held the flute tightly to his chest as his old longing of finding family squeezing his heart painfully for a moment.

'Well, that was a triumph, I do believe,' Mr. Fukurou said. The blind man came back to himself, as his introspection was broken by the words.

'Thank you,' Sai responded automatically.

'I,' he started to add then an insistent beeping emanated from his bag: his phone. He apologized, attempted to put the flute on the table, which was promptly intercepted by the ever present assistant, before retrieving the buzzing device from his bag.

'Moshi, moshi?' he spoke into the phone.

'Hikaru here, 'r you ready to mosey?' his onetime host said. Sai was painfully aware that the tinny voice was loud enough to be heard by everyone in the near silent room. Hikaru's cheerful but rather rude language was embarrassingly out of place here with these polished gentlemen.

'Are we keeping you from an engagement?' Mr. Yashida asked in a near whisper.

'Uh, just a moment Hikaru,' Sai said and then laid his hand over the phone, so he could talk more freely.

Over the many weeks that Sai had only Tuesdays and Wednesdays off, a certain routine had been established. Since Hikaru had school until 3 every Tuesday and had /oteai/ or tournament games at the institute some two or three times a month on Wednesdays, they had a standing 'date' of spending those Wednesday afternoons together, more often than not playing Go somewhere.

'Uh, I do apologize, it must be around 2 o'clock; Hikaru always calls around then,' Sai explained.

'It seems that we are keeping you,' Mr. Fukurou stated. Sai considered protesting, but he knew it would be an untruth, so he said nothing.

'We will finish our meeting than, Fujiwara-san,' Mr. Fukurou said, and the movement of air indicated that both gentlemen had gotten up from their seats and had bowed. Sai quickly followed suit.

'Thank you so much for coming, it was most delightful. Maybe we could meet again some other time?' the old gentleman said.

'Thank you, I'd like that very much,' Sai said. Yes, he would love to come again and play this magnificent flute!

'Well, then we will,' Mr. Fukurou enthused.

'Joshu-kun will show you out,' he added, thus ending the meeting.

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TBC

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* /ryuteki/ = 'dragon flute'

** /Etenraku/ = most famous flute piece from the Heian period.

Note:  
Before writing this story I knew nothing about gagaku music as much as I knew nothing about playing Go before seeing 'Hikaru no Go'. The internet is a wonderful thing and now at least I can pretend I know lots about either subject. Doesn't mean that I really do know anything, tough, keep that in mind.

Note2:  
Thanks for the lovely reviews! Keep 'm coming; review = love!

Note3:  
Sorry about the erratic updating; holidays and what not and I'm feeling myself coming down with a cold or something like, so that may slow up the works some more, sorry. :/

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**Don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Note: Sorry for the long delay. I'm hoping to start posing every week at the very least, hopefully faster. Don't forget to follow/subscribe to receive notification of new chapters being posted._  
_Enjoy!_  
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**Chapter 4**

The rest of Sai's week was filled with Go; playing Go, talking about Go, reviewing games of Go. Why, he hadn't even had time to read his Braille books much less think about last Wednesday's 'outing'!

He loved it of course; playing unlimited Go was his idea heaven. But by the time Tuesday came around again he really was in need of a break from it all.

This 'weekend' had a /oteai/ and tournament free Wednesday for Hikaru so they had agreed to another sleepover after Hikaru's classes had ended on Tuesday. That left that Tuesday morning to sleep late and laze about, which Sai promptly did.

He was just gathering his things to head out for his now regular late Tuesday morning walk, when the door bell rang. He hesitated for a long moment. The door bell had only ever rung when Ogata had ordered food or when the laundry he had sent out had returned. Sai was sure there was no laundry expected, since Ogata habitually 'did' laundry on Thursdays, and Sai had not ordered any food; he never did, feeling it not was his place to do so in someone else's house.

The bell rang again, galvanizing him into action. He opened the door carefully.

'Good morning, sir, sorry to disturb you,' the light voice of the doorman chimed, 'there was a parcel delivered to you and since it's rather big, I thought I might bring it up before you leave for the day. Shall I bring it in for you?'

Sai automatically stepped aside and the doorman, displacing more air than usually, probably due to the 'big parcel' walked past him into the apartment.

'Can you see who it's from?' Sai asked, wondering who'd send him anything. He hadn't needed to order more books from the Library, having not finished a single book in the last week. And he had certainly not ordered anything else.

'Uh, "Yamatogoto Inc." it says,' the doorman said, and added, 'Do you want me to open it for you?'

Sai decided against that, unaccountably wanting a bit of privacy when dealing with the contents of the parcel. He thanked the doorman and let him out.

He sat down on the couch, setting aside his bag and cane, freeing his hands so he could open the mystery parcel.

On top of the box he found two envelopes. One was had the unmistakable Braille label of the Library on it. He opened it quickly and found the week's installment of the Gazette CD, unsurprisingly.

The second envelope was more interesting, it was blank to the blind man on the outside, but inside he found a Braille letter. The letter was very politely worded and of course it had come from the two kind gentlemen.

As with the last missive from them, it was long winded and rather uninformative. All it really said that they had had a good time when Sai had visited and would like to meet again some time and that they had sent him a small gift, the result of which they were anxious to discuss at this proposed later meeting.

His curiosity now much peeked, he struggled to open the box. After some fruitless prying at the edges of the box, Sai found that he could scrape an edge of the sticky tape off and when he had a big enough piece he could pull off large ribbons of the stuff, thus clearing the edges and freeing all the flaps on the box.

From among the squishy packing material he pulled forth one oblong box and a cube shaped heavy box, wrapped tightly in more sticky tape. He set them out on the table and decided to opened the oblong box first. It had a simple lid held down with a paper ribbon wrapped around the box, which in turn was held together with a small piece of tape. He slid the ribbon of the box and carefully opened it.

His fingers felt inside and encountered a now familiar feel; the ridges of the bindings on a /ryuteki/ flute. He lifted it out of its box, running his fingers up and down its length. It didn't feel exactly like the one he had played at the Yamatogoto building, nor was it the one from the museum. But it was a real flute, and the bamboo felt real to him also. He positioned his fingers and put the instrument to his lips.

He played a long low tone, letting it draw out for as long as his breath would allow. The flute's wail was beautiful. This flute was a quality item, maybe not as good as the one from a week ago but very nearly so anyway.

Sai spent some minutes enjoying himself playing a languid song, conjuring up slowly falling autumn maple leaves, that were occasionally disturbed into fluttering by a light breeze.

He was gratified to know that he could call up images with this flute just as much as with the others. And now that he had a flute of his own, he'd be able to do that anytime he wanted to.

He set aside the flute and tackled the cube shaped box. Its lid slid off quite easily, and inside he found about 10 CD boxes, each with a few words of Braille written on a note inside. The notes were very brief; they either held a name or one-word description, like 'traditional', 'Heian' or 'gagaku'. Sai took the first CD and tried it in this player. The notes had described it as 'early Heian' and so it was, for the first notes played were the opening of /Etenraku/.

Sai was delighted with this find, for if these CDs ran as long as the CDs from the Library, he would have hours and hours worth of music to listen to, and to learn too.

He much appreciated the gifts and being unable to write the kind gentle he decided to call their office. Unfortunately both were out so he opted to leave a polite message instead.

Sai spent the rest of the afternoon between listening to CDs track and then reproducing them on the flute, conjuring up beautiful landscapes, covering all the seasons, spring, summer, autumn and winter passing through his mind scape one after the other.

All too soon the tranquility of his flute playing was disturbed by the jingle of his cell phone. Sai was quite surprised that it was already three o'clock when he picked up the phone to let Hikaru know that he was still at home. This in turn surprised Hikaru, as it was a beautiful day outside, and he would have expected Sai to be miles away from Ogata's place by now. They arranged to meet at the mall, near Ogata's apartment building in, as there was a Ramen store nearby.

Sai decided to bring the flute so he could show Hikaru his new found talent. But before he left the house he tidied the CDs away in the back his clothing drawer. The letter he put with his other Braille things; none of his friends could read Braille after all. He wasn't at all sure what gave him the impulse to be so secretive about the music, but he somehow felt a little self-conscious about it.

It was on the way to the mall that he realized something; apart from Hikaru none of Sai's friends ever did anything with music. There was never music on at the Touya Go Club, nor had there been in the Heart of Stone. When Sai was alone with Ogata in his apartment, while Sai was reading and Ogata did what ever it was he did on the computer, there was never any music on. Sai had only ever heard music when he was at Hikaru's house. Mrs. Shindou liked soft music in the background in the living room and Hikaru would sometimes play something a little more modern when Sai stayed over and Hikaru had some homework left to do. But all in all the Go players Sai knew did not listen to music. How odd.

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Hikaru's reaction to Sai's flute play had been a bit mixed, to say the least. Sai had waited until after the ramen was all gone - Hikaru had been ravenous - and they had moved to the little park that was off one of the side streets behind the mall, before giving him a demonstration.

'Ah, yeah, nice,' Hikaru said sounding less than convincing. Sai felt a stab of disappointment; he had hoped Hikaru would like it at least. The sentiment must have shown on his face because Hikaru hastened to add, 'geez, I don't know much about old music like that.'

/'Old music'./ /Yes, that was a fair comment,/ Sai supposed, after all he had been born 1000 years ago, if that is not old than what is? He had played standing up but now he sat down, trying to school his expression away from disappointment.

'Look, there's loads of people who love that kinda music, honest,' Hikaru said hesitantly.

Sai realized that again the boy was right; there were people out there that did appreciate this kind of music, like the two nice gentlemen. He would play for them and for himself, and that would be enough.

'You wanna go to the Heart of Stone? We haven't been in while. I wanna see you beat five of those dudes all at once!' Hikaru tugged on his sleeve as the boy sprang up.

For almost a whole second the lure of Go was not enough to combat Sai's disappointment, but then a thought of the black and white stones entered his mind, dancing around for a moment before jumping into their /goke/ and leaving a painfully empty grid, that just screamed to be filled.

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That Thursday the nice weather disappeared and it was already raining when Sai arrived to work that morning. As he made his way to his work spot, after a cheery /ohayo!/ from Ichikawa, Sai was very glad he had decided to wear his new sweater that day, as the day's dampness had taken hold of the entire Go club.

Pretty soon he was set up with some soup and crackers - Ichikawa said soup first thing was a must in the wintertime in the Club - and it warmed him up nicely. He was rather grateful for the warm start, as playing Go was hardly the kind of 'sport' that would keep one warm!

After Touya Meijin arrived, Sai wasn't given anymore time to ponder the weather, because the man sat right down and had Ichikawa /nigiri/ for them. Sai got white and the 6 and a half /komi/ advantage.

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Over the past weeks Sai had surely but steadily been gaining on the Master player. Where in that first game he had had to forfeit in the face of a more than ten /moku/ loss, now he was losing with as few as 3 /moku/. Sai was not anywhere near beating Touya sr. yet, but he detected a definite upward curve.

He really liked fighting his rival on the board; he could go all out against a stronger force, what could be better? Off the board, they had slowly become friends. And as friends they would talk about this and that during their tea and lunch break. There was an unspoken agreement between them that there was no Go talk during food breaks. It was that lunch break that the Meijin came with a surprise.

Tea had been poured and drunk fast, to prevent it from cooling. There had been more soup and sandwiches, and Sai decided the cold weather warranted taking a third helping. He was just biting into a egg sandwich when the older man started to speak.

'Fujiwara-san.'

Sai sat up straighter, as Touya sr. had not used the polite suffix of -san in reference to Sai in weeks; something was up. Sai resisted the urge to feel guilty; he was pretty sure he hadn't done anything lately that might make his rival cross. Right?

'I have favor to ask,' the older man's booming voice continued. /A favor?/ Sai knew he would do anything the Meijin might ask of him! He was well aware that this man was also responsible for him having a job here, just as much as Ogata was, being the principle owner of the Touya Go Club.

'Young Akira has decided that he is grown-up enough and he wants to move out.'

Sai nodded. He had had some fore knowledge of this, as the younger Touya had complained - in a manner that was oddly polite - that now that his father was back from China permanently, they were, as Touya had put it: 'a little too closely pressed together'. Sai experienced a moment of guilt over this; it was after for him that Touya sr. had come back. And if he was able to do anything to help the situation, he would do so. But for the life of him he could not think of anything that he might do that might help.

'I, for my part, am not against it; the boy is almost 17 and very mature for his age. But my wife would shelter him a little longer, well, you know how mothers are,' Touya sr. continued.

Actually Sai didn't know how mothers were, since he he could not remember his own, but while he had not met Touya's mother, he had met Hikaru's and he could hear the worry in her voice every time she said goodbye to Hikaru in the morning on the Wednesdays Sai stayed over.

'It would help my wife if Akira could go and live with someone older, more experienced,' Touya sr. went on. Sai listened intently, still not seeing how he could help.

There was a pause, as though the Meijin was gathering his thoughts. At least Sai hoped that was it as he had no idea what to say to this.

'Fujiwara-san, your living arrangements with Ogata have always struck me as of a temporary type,' the Meijin continued, hesitancy in his voice.

Temporary? Sai wanted to protest here; his living at Ogata's could not be temporary! To be sure it was not ideal, but if Sai did not live there where would he go?

'Would it not be of benefit to you both if you moved in with Akira?'

Sai was speechless. Move in with Touya-kun? /But!/ he wanted to scream, how could he do that? Where would it be? Would he be able to afford it?

'I know this is an imposition on you. I'm sure you would rather want to live on your own. But an arrangement where you could share a flat with my boy, would make my wife worry so much less. And you being a friend of my son's, he would not feel himself impeded in his feelings of liberty. So as a large favor I'm asking you this.' Here the Meijin trailed off.

Sai knew here was the point at which he should say yes or no, but there where too many questions unanswered for him to make any sense of how this would work.

How Ogata would react to this development? Ogata was just too much of a mystery to Sai, for him to say if the title holder would welcome the move or be dead set against it.

'I've talked to Ogata-kun already,' the Meijin said after Sai's silence. 'He is not averse to the idea. He said,' here the older man paused, 'he said he felt it might be the best solution for you both.'

Sai exhaled. Ogata already knew and he wasn't even angry. The bind man felt relief wash over him; here was one fight that they wouldn't be having. Then the feeling turned into sadness, sadness for all the fights they had had, for the anxiety the blind man had had over their friendship. Yes, Sai living somewhere else would be the best solution.

He nodded once and asked, 'Where would we live?'

'Next week there is an apartment becoming vacant, one flight up from Ogata-kun's,' the Meijin's low voice came, carrying in its tone more than a little relief.

/No!/ Sai thought. Apart from the fact it was situated so very close to Ogata, one floor up, a fact that Sai couldn't place in the situation of them living away from each other; there was the costs of place like that. He was no fool; he knew nice apartments in an affluent part of town like Ogata's was in, were not meant for people with charity jobs like himself.

Ice ran down his back as he tried to keep his emotions out of his next question. 'How much would it cost?'

'Well,' the older mans voice was hesitant now, 'as I'm asking it as a favor, I think it would best if I pay the rent.'

'No,' Sai interrupted his friend with that single word. 'No, I have a job now, so I should pay for my own lodgings. If I can't afford it, then I should not have it.' He could hear his own voice quiver, as he tried to keep tears from filling his eyes.

He knew the Meijin, his friend Touya Kouyo, meant well, but Sai own pride would not let him become such a burden on his friends. Not now he had a job. Now he wanted, /needed/ to pay his own way in the world.

There was a long silence, in which Sai locked the muscles in his neck firmly to keep his head high, to support his argument. He couldn't see his friend, he couldn't read his face. He just hoped that the Meijin understood his point of view and that he'd accept it.

As it had before in times of conflict with his friends, Sai's heart cried out in anguish at the possible cost of refusing his friend's too generous offer. Sai knew he was too stubborn, too passionate, too quickly emoted and too suspicious of generous offers that too closely resembled traps. Had the same situation not happened with Ogata in the beginning? And still went on to a lesser extent. Ogata would push him into situations he didn't want to be in, and all because the title holder had the leverage, what with housing Sai in his apartment.

Sai had little choice but to acquiesce to Ogata's wishes or he'd be back at the homeless shelter. That Sai was 'allowed' to call Ogata on his behavior was only by Ogata's own 'benevolence'. In truth Ogata could put his foot down and Sai's only options would be obedience or returning the shelter.

He didn't want a situation like that with the Meijin, with his True Rival, /no!/

The older man broke the long silence by saying, 'Very well, we'll make up rental agreement later.' He paused to take a breath, the kind Sai had heard him take when they'd have their Thursday morning game; it usually signaled the start of a very interesting game.

'Thank you,' Sai said and bowed.

囲碁*囲碁*囲碁

No more was said about the subject until their second game was finished and Sai resurfaced enough from the marvelous world of Go to realize Ogata and Touya Akira had joined them.

'Father, have you asked him yet?' Touya asked and Sai was almost shocked at the emotions he could hear in the young pro's question; excitement and longing. The younger Touya really wanted this, the thought made Sai feel bathed in warmth; he was wanted. It felt good.

He resolved, then and there, that he would sit on his pride as much as he could and take whatever rental agreement Touya's father would offer him. The happiness of his friend would be put before his own pride. He knew he might waver later; his pride had taken such a beating in the first year that he could remember, that it wanted some space in his life too. Compromises were going to have to be made.

'I said yes,' Sai said, before the Meijin could answer his son.

'Oh, wonderful!' Touya cried out. Sai had to smile; he'd never heard the normally so serious boy be so boisterous. And he sat back with a fresh cup of tea as both Touya's started discussing preparations for moving. Or rather Touya-kun was making a list, Sai could hear him scribble, while the Meijin answered every second question with 'You really need to ask you mother that.'

The second silent person in the company was Ogata who hadn't said a word yet, but of whom Sai was sure was still present, the constantly refreshed atmosphere of cigarette smoke being a testament to that fact.

Sai knew there would have to be some talk between them today. Sai was moving on and he felt he had in no way paid his debt to the title holder. But once that the blind man would leave the Go pro's flat, the debt would stop mounting up and maybe Sai would get a chance to make a real start at repaying him.

Yes, moving house would give Sai a chance at a more even friendship with the prickly title holder and he would be making two of his friends, and Mrs. Touya, whom he hadn't even met yet, happy. It was a win-win situation; something Sai could remember never having been in before. It felt really /really/ good.

囲碁*囲碁*囲碁

TBC

囲碁*囲碁*囲碁

**Don't forget to review!**


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